I had a burning desire to enter my fifties having had limited sexual experience with only a few people, to have worked a succession of bottom-end McJobs that offered almost nothing in the way of financial, creative or emotional return, leading me to question the 'work and reward' theory that the western world is based on. I also wanted to be a prematurely balding, over weight, heavy smoking borderline alcoholic with an occasional gambling problem and lack of self worth. Praise be! Kids, your dreams CAN come true.