Feel that War and Peace went on a bit? Wish there were more laughs in The Catcher in the Rye? Very cross that The Power of One had no speedboat chases? Then 'Smithereens' is for you. At only 300 pages you can knock it off during the Bachelor IV (in fact, that's how we'd prefer you to read it). And laughs? What about them? Well, does it have any? Of course it does - it's written by one of Australia's funniest men. Oh, John Clarke? No, not John Clarke. I like John Clarke. So do I, but this is written by Shaun Micallef. And as for speedboat chases, I'm afraid there's not even one. I don't know why I raised it really. Yes, 'Smithereens' is a book that belongs on every bookshelf. Why? Well, it'd certainly be good for sales. Think of it. Twenty million copies. We'd make a freaking fortune . . .