**7 Stories:** *You better not cry — And two eyes made out of coal — Claus and effect — Ask again later — Why do you reward me thus — The best and only everything — Silent night.* **Publisher Summary:** You've eaten too much candy at Christmas ... but have you ever eaten the face off a six-footstuffed Santa? You've seen gingerbread houses ... but have you ever made your own gingerbread tenement? You've woken up with a hangover ... but have you ever woken up next to Kris Kringle himself? Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present - as only he can. Augusten reveals how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.