I want to be President because I don't want anyone else to be President. Many must feel the same way. As President, I would ask Hillary Clinton to be my Vice President. She can have the house, the plane, and I'd trust her to run the country. Given what has happened to President Obama during the preceding eight years, I want to be left alone. What follows is the story of how I became the political person I am today. It is my platform. If it could be your story, vote for me. It would be like voting for yourself. Feels good, doesn't it? [cover, p. 4]