"Patriots tells the story of Walter Schotzke, the aimless young heir to America's largest mustard fortune. Walter is sent by his tough-minded grandmother to work in the office of a distinguished U.S. Senator. She hopes her otherwise worthless only grandchild might find purpose, and even appreciation for his country, from political service. In Washington, Walter quickly proves to be a better student of the dark side of politics than he ever was at all the boarding schools he was thrown out of. He gains his education from a farcical faculty of blowhard radio hosts, outraged protestors, think-tank experts-for-hire, shady lobbyists, internet impresarios, and the sexy but sinister talking heads of the 'Patriot News Network.' It is not the experience Walter, or his grandmother, expected. Walter must make some tough decisions fast--leading to the novel's surprising and hilarious conclusion."--Page 4 of cover.