"Emily Nevin Cann Bell is a recent addition to Trundlewood Academy for Unwanted, Wayward, and Unusual Girls, fresh from a workhouse in É:lhall's capital city. Life at the Academy seems pretty good. Sure, Sylvie appears determined to burn the school down; Ayn stalks the halls spouting her philosophy of radical self-reliance; and shy, refined Miles puts Emily's stomach on spin cycle. And yes, there are occasional disruptions in the weather - like a horseradish storm - oddly timed to coincide with her journal entries. But for an orphan with three last names and no idea which one is correct, life is pretty good. That is, life was pretty good until self-proclaimed prophet Damacias figures out what none of the orphans knows: Trundlewood Academy is no ordinary school. Everything that happens is dictated by what 30 teenagers write during class. And Damacias isn't happy about it. In fact, he accuses the students of witchcraft and usurping the power of The One True Author of the Universe. A spring break fishing expedition in Nonpa secures Damacias the allegiance of several leading fraternities in Cansem and he actively recruits followers - known as Righteous Haddock - who demonstrate their allegiance by being baptized in condiments at The Holy Scrubbing Grounds in Gu'pl. The battle that ensues tests the age-old adage that the pen is mightier than the sword."--Back cover.