[This] is the deeply disturbing unrelentingly sad record of a talented young woman's thoughts over the last four years of her life. Unfulfilled, wracked by self-doubts and insecurities, loved but unable to feel that love, Alix ... kept this very personal journal as a necessary refuge from her unabating emotional pain. A brilliant photographer who received little recognition during her lifetime, a woman driven by the need to create but unable to accomplish most of what she planned, Roubaud spent her days locked inside her own head. Frequently suicidal and increasingly dependent on alcohol and sleeping pills - always trying to find ways to dull the anxiety and pain that never left her. ..."--Back cover.