Accidents happen to other people. But on May 10 2002 Nina Bawden discovered what it feels like to be one of the other people. It was to be a lovely outing to Cambridge for a friend's birthday party. Nina Bawden and her husband Austen Kark boarded the 12:45 from King's Cross and settled down with their books and papers. A few minutes later the rain derailed. Seven people were killed and seventy-six badly hurt. Nina was gravely injured and Austen was killed instantly. In this powerful and poignant letter to her husband, Nina Bawden tries to make sense of it all.