*"The Hallelujahs faded. There, the real church came alive."* A charismatic co-pastoring couple runs a global trafficking empire beneath the polished veneer of a thriving megachurch network. Both master manipulators and theologians of convenience, they expand their ministry into darker, unholy enterprises, until the divine retribution they so often preach about turns its gaze upon them. **A razor-edged satire of the Faith Industrial Complex, So Hell Me God is a haunting modern tragedy: intimate, brutal, and unflinchingly prophetic.** *If Elmer Gantry and Narcos had a child raised on Afrobeats and Nigerian Pidgin.*