Thirty years after Animal House showed the world the meaning of toga, Chris Miller—the writer whose National Lampoon stories inspired the movie—finally answers the question: Was it really that wild? The movie didn't tell the half of it. Chris Miller, aka Pinto, takes us back to a different world. A world where a legendary frat brother really might go to a sorority house for a sympathy date after reading an obituary. Or slather himself with mustard and crawl around the dance floor looking for women to bite. Or practice for the distance-booting event. Or find unheard-of ways for improving the party punch recipe. All while working toward the ultimate college goal: losing your virginity at last. Writing with a freshness and joy that make Dartmouth 1960 feel like rock-and-roll heaven on earth, Chris Miller tells the story of the Alpha Delta house as no one else could. Seal, Doberman, Otter, the legendary Moses (he of the burning bush)—these titans and dozens of others come alive again, taunting cops, surviving their own lunacy, and challenging the squareness of a stifling time. The Real Animal House is the perfect antidote for a conventional age much like today.